While thinking constantly about the death of my brother John of AIDS, I heard Adrienne Rich read at the Woman's Place Bookstore in Salt Lake.
11 November
1993
I don’t want to know
how he tracked them
along the Appalachian
Trail, hid close
by their tent, pitched
as they thought in seclusion
killing one woman, the
other
dragging herself into
town his defense they had teased his loathing
of what they were
Adrienne Rich, from An Atlas of
the Difficult World
I heard Rich
read from her new book of essays last night at the Women’s Place Bookstore in
Salt Lake. A small woman with short grey hair and a stiff leg. She walks with a
thick, rubber-footed plexiglass cane. Her power resides in her voice,
controlled and set free by thin lips.
While she spoke
about the drive to connect and about the dream of a common language, I watched
a man in a baseball cap push along the side of the crowd until he was right up
front. He had a small tape recorder in his right hand, in his left a manila
envelope. He stood there, quivered there, his eyes wild and his elbows
twitching. It felt dangerous to me, awkward that he would invade Rich’s space.
A red light blinked on his tape recorder. He took off his coat and sat on the
floor.
A small white
spider clambered through the black-and-grey hair of the woman in front of me,
returning to the topmost hairs after every downward foray. Instinctively
upward. Up to where a web can be useful, up to where it won’t be crushed on the
ground. But what good the instinct when the spider is climbing on an upright
human, an erect, movable island?
I braced myself
to jump on the man if he rushed Rich.
“We must use
what we have to invent what we desire.”
Yellow post-it
notes marked her book.
“--To track your
own desire, in your own language, is not an isolated task. You yourself are
marked by family, gender, caste, landscape, the struggle to make a living, or
the absence of such a struggle. The rich and the poor are equally marked.
Poetry is never free of these markings even when it appears to be. Look into
the images.”
To track my own desire, my brother’s
desire. To read familial marks of gender and landscape. To look into the
images.
The rubrics on
the bookshelves read like a poem with a couple of tragic turns, some humor, and
final pragmatism:
Gardening
Travel
Mystery
Fiction
Classics
Spirituality
Women’s Studies
Lesbian Fiction
Abuse
Psychology
Relationships
Divorce
Grief
Aging
Health
Illness
Humor
Sexuality
Business/Careers
1 comment:
a glaring point I find totally interesting (and lends me inspiration) about the most powerful artists across history, is the painful and challenging trials that seem to inform much of their contribution to society
oh that I could translate my life even a speck as powerful as they have theirs
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