Showing posts with label stork's bill. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stork's bill. Show all posts

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Wildflowers #11 -- Retrograde Anticipation

I "could scarcely wait" for the first spring beauty to blossom. As soon as it did so, I "could scarcely wait" for the first Wasatch bluebell and the first glacier lily. Today I can "scarcely wait" for the first death camas and the first of the third yellow composite to bloom. 


Similarly, I eagerly anticipate the next paycheck, the last class in the semester, the arrival of a package, the publication of an essay.


This spring, however, there has been an onset of retrograde anticipation, an anticipation that regrets what will come.


When the first glacier lily blossomed this spring it meant that for me, for the course of my life, the number of springs with their first glacier lilies was reduced by one.  


The arrival this morning of a Saturday open for whatever pleasures and responsibilities I choose has now been reduced by one. 


How many more such Saturday mornings will there be?


How many more grandsons' soccer games will I witness?


How many more changes of seasons?


How many more books will I read?


This last question, unlike the one about glacier lilies, has an answer somewhat less finite. While I can't expand the number of coming springs in my life, I can read more books, or fewer books, depending on my choices.


How many more books will I write? Right now, this morning, on the eve of the coming summer, I can feel the answer expanding rather than contracting. Age and experience and opportunity multiply this opportunity rather than subtracting from it.


And now to the wildflowers:


another astragalus, color variation

storksbill / Erodium cicutarium

storksbill

bitterbrush / Purshia tridentata

bitterbrush

bitterbrush

death camas / Zigadenus venenosus (Lily family)

death camas

third yellow composite about to bloom
Finally, perhaps there is an antidote to the fleeting sequential appearance and loss of the anticipated flowers. Perhaps a celebration of all the flowers currently in bloom, an aggregate to be enjoyed in the moment: